Breaking the silence was something James Potter was good at. He had broken it before after lost Quidditch games, not that there was many, after big fights between his father and his esteemed visitors and after seeing the Daily Prophet week after week with more bad news. He had a habit of saying something, anything, because he hated the angry, pitiful and sad silence that followed all of these commotions. James Potter with his personality louder than a busy Irish bar, hated silence with all his might.
The past two days had been nothing but silence and his mother had said that he should leave Sirius alone even though it was Sirius who showed up at their door with tears running down his eyes and nothing but his wand. James’ mother had cared for his scars and gave him some food which Sirius didn’t even attempt to eat.
It was the morning of the third day that James decided he had had enough of this ‘woe is me’ act of Sirius even though he was fully right about the way he felt. He walked into the room where Sirius was staying with squared shoulders and sat by his side.
“Are you planning on talking anytime soon?” he asked trying to catch the eye of the raven-haired boy.
“What do you want me to say?”
“Don’t pull that sarcastic I-don’t-care-for-shit attitude with me Black,” hissed James before putting a hand on Sirius’ leg. “Just talk to me.”
“I don’t deserve to be here,” he murmured in response.
“Why?”
“I’m a shame to my friends and to me family,” he replied without a change to his tone. “I hurt Remus and gave his secret away to a bigot who will use it against him at one point or the other. I also successfully got myself disowned a few nights ago.”
“How?” asked James while he studied Sirius to understand what he was really feeling.
“It doesn’t matter how,” shot back Sirius, his eyes meeting James’ for a second. “I no longer have a family or a place to stay.”
“You can stay here.”
“N-no,” he stuttered and James could swear he saw Sirius’ eyes well up. “I can’t stay here and be a burden to you and your family. This is my punishment for doing what I did to Remus, I will deal with it myself.”
“No you won’t,” challenged James. “You’re not making any sense at all but it is so like you to run away without even trying to fix the problem.”
“You don’t kn-”
“I’ve been talking to Remus,” began James in a reprimanding manner. “Sirius, he is not going to forgive you overnight but he is taking his time to find a way to forgive you while you’re sitting here convincing yourself how the war is over when the battle isn’t even lost. You’re looking for ways to punish yourself when you should be working on apologising to all of us, properly. This is not about you, this is about the rest of us and you should be able to see that. So you thinking of new ways to punish yourself is you making this about yourself when it has never been about you, it’s about the people you’ve hurt.”
James took a deep breath before he rose from the bed Sirius was still sitting in. He pushed his glass up and turned to Sirius one last time before leaving the room.
“You can keep brooding here all you want,” he said with worry in his voice. “However know that I’m not going to leave you to rot on streets, and it’s honestly an insult you would even think I could do something like that.”
James reached for the door knob before he heard Sirius shuffling in the bed getting ready to say something. He turned around to see Sirius sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at the patterns on the carpet under his feet.
“How do you still care for me after what I’ve done?” Sirius asked without meeting James’ eyes.
“Because my mother never taught me how not to care,” he shrugged. “Family sticks together Padfoot through thick and thin, good and bad. You’re family even though you are unbearable at times.”
“I wish my mother taught me to care more.”
“And she will Pads,” James smiled wryly. “Just trust good old Euphemia to make a good man out of you in no time.”
Sirius looked at him incredulously and James patted his back softly in return before he turned to leave.
“Told you, you’re family.”
